Snippets and Snapshots of my Life!!!

Camera Giveaway

2012-01-19T21:05:00.000-05:00

Please click this link to help me win this camera. Every person that clicks the link gives me entries into the contest. The more the better......

http://www.punchtab.com/contest?referrer=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mcpactions.com%2Fblog%2F2012%2F01%2F19%2Fwin-canon-5dmkii-nikond700%2F&user_id=MjI0MDk3&raffle_id=MzIzMg%3D%3D

Happy New Year

2012-01-02T01:47:00.001-05:00

Wishing everybody a very happy and healthy New Year!!!

I am really looking forward to this new year. There will be many new adventures for me. I just got engaged and will be getting married on April 20th and I am very excited about that.

12-28-2011 - Nutrition Appt.

2011-12-28T14:35:00.001-05:00

I had my monthly nutrition appointment today. The doctor mentioned how he notices that I am always a little tachycardic (a little more so today), so he decided that I should start doing a liter of IV fluids every other day. So we will see how that goes over the next month until my next appointment.

I have an appointment at Temple the middle of January. Also, the records have been sent to the University of Pennsylvania, so hopefully we can soon get an appointment scheduled there.

Taking it one day at a time...

Merry Christmas

2011-12-26T15:16:00.000-05:00

This is my Christmas present from my Pap.

Let Me Vent - Frustration

2011-11-22T00:36:00.001-05:00

I haven't posted in awhile because I received an email from my local GI doctor and was pretty frustrated about it for awhile. In my last post I informed you that we were starting the appeal process with the insurance to try and get the surgery covered. Well, long story short the insurance company is using my local GI doctor as a go between for me and my insurance. Anyways, they had him contact me to let me know that I need to get a 2nd (well, more like 3rd) opinion about whether or not I should have the surgery and if it would benefit me. , to see if they will cover it.

I'm just frustrated with all the run around from this doctor to another doctor and then fighting the insurance company too. So, I called to schedule my appointment with this new doctor and they won't even schedule me an appointment until they have all my paperwork. Hopefully I will get around to calling everybody to send them all my paperwork. When I get frustrated like this, I just want to give up and forget it all, so then I keep pushing off making the phone calls they want me to.

Another thing that bothers me is that I actually work for the hospital my insurance is through and they still don't want to cover things. I supposedly heard that they made the comment that "she is stable". Well yes I'm stable, because I'm on the TPN.....that's not the way I want to live the rest of my life and if my body would start rejecting it, I wouldn't be stable for long. Which is why I'm interested in the surgery, to see if it will help and then I can get off the TPN and lead a more normal life.

There's plenty more I could write about, but I will end it here. I don't like to complain, but sometime I just need to get it off my chest a little.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

Appeal

2011-11-10T17:13:00.001-05:00

I called Temple today to see what all I needed to do to start the appeal process. The secretary informed me that the one Doctor had already submitted my appeal. She said that the insurance usually denies the first time, but if the doctor submits a letter they usually will approve it then. Hoping and praying that is the case!!!

Taking it one day at a time!!!

The Start of an Insurance Battle

2011-11-05T16:47:00.002-04:00

I received a letter in the mail this week from Geisinger Health Plan, which is who my health insurance is through. Temple had submitted the information for the Enterra Therapy surgery to get approval so we can get the ball rolling with getting the surgery. Well, this letter informed be that they denied the surgery and would not be covering it due to this surgery still being considered experimental. So know I'm going to have to start the appeal and grievance process to see if we can somehow get them to cover it.

Prayers would be appreciated as I make phone calls in the coming days to see what all I need to do and start the process to try and get it covered. For me, this is the last hope I really have of something that might be able to help. This surgery is basically the only thing left to try to see if it will help.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

10/17 Temple Appointment Update

2011-10-20T01:54:00.001-04:00

Around 4:00am Monday morning my mom and I left to travel to Philly for my appointment at 8:40 at Temple. We always leave early so we have plenty of time in case of traffic, accidents or anything that could delay us. It takes a long time to schedule an appointment so we wouldn't want to do anything on our part that would cause us to miss it.

I received the results of the testing I had done and it's official that I have diffuse gastroparesis. They did tests and it showed that my stomach has trouble moving both the liquids and solids from my stomach, and that my colon doesn't want to work correctly either. The rest of the testing turned out to be basically normal (which is kind of what we figured.) I'm just happy to actually hear a diagnosis that they can prove. It seems like there was always a question as to whether or not I had gastroparesis, but now that the test show it, maybe we can figure out how to procede. They did stress that there is not cure, but they may be able to better control the symptoms it causes.

The doctor is starting me on a medication I took a few years back with no success. He wants me to try it again for 3 months until my next follow up appointment. They did also give me a consent form and information on a surgery that I am a good candidate for that has helped some people. Originally, people called it the stomach pacemaker, they thought it worked basically like a heart pacemaker to stimulate the stomach to contract and move food along as it should. Since then, they found out that it doesn't work quite like that, but that it does relieve some of the symptoms associated with gastroparesis such as nausea and vomiting. I'm supposed to think over this surgery until my next appointment which is 3 months from now, and if I want to proceed we will start the ball rolling from that point. We did tell them that they could go ahead and submit the paperwork to the insurance company to see if they will even cover it.

So that's about all that happened at Temple. In a future post I may discuss the surgery more in depth, but that's for now, that's all.

Next week I have 2 appointments, one with my local GI doctor and the other with my GI nutrition doctor for my monthy TPN visits.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

Long time no post....

2011-10-06T12:53:00.002-04:00

It's been a long time since I have posted. Nothing new has been going on, but I have been really busy, which is why I haven't been posting anything.

I haven't heard anything from Temple since I was down there in August. I go back in about two weeks and I'm hoping to hear about the results of the tests I had done while I was down there. I see GI nutrition the day after I go to Temple and then in November I see my local GI doctor.

I've been keeping busy with work and on my nights off I'm busy dating my boyfriend. In my free time between those two I am doing schooling. So, things have been pretty busy lately, which is probably another reason I haven't posted much.

I've been thinking off and on about transferring departments at work - go from a step down critical care unit to the adult intensive care unit. I definitely know I want to, which is nothing against the department I work, but don't know if it the best decision for me right now. The floor I am currently on has been really good to me regarding sick time and such, and I'm not sure how lenient another boss might be. I doubt I will be changing anytime soon, but who knows. I've been on my floor for a little over 3 years now, and I am comfortable and know everybody. I don't know if I'm up for all the changes that it involves even though I'm sure I would love it.
One thing for sure is though, that I love my job and am happy doing what I do!!!

Taking it one day at a time!!!

Botox!!!

2011-08-27T21:32:00.001-04:00

Well, I had my first injection of Botox!!! It better take away all the wrinkles and leave me looking and feeling good :) Ok, so I did have a Botox injection, but probably not in the way you are thinking.

Thursday night we left for Temple again and stayed at a hotel again. We actually got to stay in the same room we had last week. I had to be at Temple for 9:30 in the morning and with traffic being crazy we decided to just head down on Thursday and stay. I'm glad we did because traffic was super bad because of the beaches being evacuated.

We actually didn't make too bad of time getting to Temple on Friday morning. We were a little early, but that was better than being late. They informed me at registration that I would need to give a urine sample before they would do the procedure to make sure I wasn't pregnant. I had to laugh because I don't go that frequently and I had just gotten up and went already. They ended up having to give me a bolus of fluid and wait a little while before I was able to give them a couple of drops.

While they were taking my history and asking all kinds of questions, the fellow asked if I had a gastric emptying test before that had shown delayed gastric emptying. I wasn't sure how to answer her because I've had four of them. One showed I did, the next was normal, then I got sick during the next one, and then I just had one the previous week which I didn't know the results too. So she left, and I thought that was the end of the conversation but about 5-10 minutes later she came back. So confirmed that the gastric emptying test I had the previous week showed that I did have delayed gastric emptying. (That is all I found out from the testing I had the previous week, and she didn't go into detail.)

So since that test showed it they were going to go ahead and do the EGD with Botox. Everything went well with the procedure, I can't go into detail about it because I was out. What they do though, is a regular EGD and then they inject Botox all around the pyloric valve. The Botox paralyzes the valve so that it stays open and the goal is that it will help the stomach empty.

Now it is a waiting game to see if it will work or not. They did inform me that it may not work, but they have to give it try before they do anything else. It can take 3 days - 2 weeks for me to start noticing if it's going to work. I'm hoping it does.

I do have a follow up appointment in October with the actual doctor which I haven't seen since my original appointment in March. It's supposed to be a one month follow up, but October was the quickest they could get me in then. They did say I could call a certain person and she would probably be able to get me in sooner.

I'm heading back into work tonight, but thought I would give you all a little update.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

CCRN

2011-08-25T22:52:00.002-04:00

Monday I passed my CCRN test!!! I went with a coworker to take it and we both passed. I was so excited. It is a very hard test, some even say it's harder than the NCLEX.

Last Two Days at Temple!!!

2011-08-25T03:29:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the delay in posting about the last two days of testing at Temple. I thought I would write just a little bit about the last two days, but I still don't want to go into detail.

Thursday and Friday of that week were the worst. I definitely don't want to have to go through any of that stuff again. It was NOT pleasant!!! If I were a doctor I wouldn't schedule those tests unless they were absolutely necessary. Nobody should have to go through that stuff just for the fun of it.

I just want to say that when you are in the medical field I think it makes some things worse. Especially when you know the resident isn't doing something right but they don't know that yet and you have to be the one to tell them :-/ Plus, it doesn't help your confidence level in them when they act like they don't have a clue what they are doing and have to ask the person in the room with you what to do before each step and if it's the right thing. The worst, is that the person they are asking is either a nurse or a radiologist. It is kind of funny though, when you keep a secret that you are a nurse and actually probably know more than they do, and then you can laugh on the inside about what they are doing wrong and how embarrassed they would feel if you told them you were a nurse.

We still haven't heard any official results of the tests or even spoke with the doctor yet. So I really don't know anything about any of the tests I had done.

I leave today to head back down for more tests tomorrow. Hoping it all goes well tomorrow. Also, hoping I get to see the doctor and maybe hear a little bit about the tests I had last week.

Philadelphia Zoo

2011-08-18T22:52:00.003-04:00

Wednesday

2011-08-17T22:00:00.000-04:00

Today we headed in to Temple for around 11am to get my scans for the day done and out of the way. I was able to see a little bit of the screen and I could still see the radioactive stuff still in there. I just don't know how far along it is supposed to be then compared to how far along it actually is on me. Hopefully I will hear the results of some of my tests before I head home. I'm not so sure I will though, because I don't have any appointments actually scheduled with the actual doctor. My GI doctor at home wants me to get copies of all my tests results, or just really pay attention to what they say, haha!!!

After I was done with the scans for today, we decided to go to the Philadelphia Zoo. It was a nice sunny/hot day. I enjoyed taking pictures of all the animals, so I may be posting some pictures from the zoo in the days to come.

Not looking forward to the tests scheduled for the next two days. I will be posting more updates tomorrow.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

Tuesday - August 16, 2011 - Temple Day 1

2011-08-16T22:00:00.001-04:00

Today I started a 4 day emptying test around 8:00. It started out by having to eat an egg sandwich with 2 eggs and a glass of water. They had a radioactive substance in both the egg and the water. Then for the next 6hrs they watched to see how far it gets through with periodic scanning. At first they the scans every half hour and then they do it only once every hour. It makes for one long day, and it gets pretty boring. Fortunately you are able to walk around some in between the hour scans. Over the course of the next 3 days they just scan you once a day, for 8 minutes at a time and then you are done for the rest of the day.

I was able to get most of the sandwich down, but didn't feel very well after eating it for a couple of hours. So hopefully they are able to see what they want to see and maybe be able to learn a little more about what is going on with me.

I had to stop all stool softeners/laxative and any motility medications because it would interfere with what is actually going on in the GI system. The way my body works, I would think they should still be seeing it one the last day, because I probably won't have a BM with not being able to take any medication to help things move along. So it will probably be in there, somewhere!

After the 6 hours of scanning, my mom and I decided to go do a little shopping. It was fun, but by that time I was pretty tired so didn't get to really enjoy it as much as I would have like to.

Tomorrow, I just have to go in sometime after 11am and before 3:30pm to get my scans done for that day. We are thinking that since tomorrow will be the day with the least tests, we may try and go to the Philadelphia Zoo.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

Beginning of a BIG Week!!!

2011-08-14T04:55:00.000-04:00

This week has been a long time coming. I have been waiting and dealing with Temple since March to finally get tests/procedures scheduled. Now, the time has arrived and now I am quite nervous and almost wishing this week wasn't here.

Monday evening, after my mother gets off work, we will travel to a hotel we rented in New Jersey (which isn't too far away from Temple). Then we will leave bright and early for Temple on Tuesday where I/we (not sure what mom will do yet) will be at the hospital all day have testing. I think the first day is a test that takes 6hours. As of now, I'm not totally sure how the rest of the week will play out, probably just depends a lot on how things go. If things go well, my mom and I might be able to do a couple fun things like going shopping or maybe to the zoo. We'll see!!! I may be pretty miserable some of the days though. I will do my best to tough them out though because I want to have some fun too, and not be miserable the whole time.

Will be posting more about my tests later, but I am too embarrased to post about some of them right now. Maybe after they are done I won't be as embarrased to share, but for now I can't. Hopefully I will be able to laugh about it later.

Prayers would be appreciated this week. I want the Lord's will done, but I would like to get some answers and help if available.

Snippets and Snapshots - Memories For a Lifetime

2011-08-14T04:00:00.000-04:00

I just added a page on Facebook where I will be posting my pictures from the shoots that I do. The page is called "Snippets and Snapshots - Memories For a Lifetime." Feel free to "like" this page on FB.

Snippets and Snapshots was a name I thought of because some of the pictures that turn out the best are actually snapshots and each picture is just a snippet in that persons life. Memories For a Lifetime came about when I lost someone really close to me and I could only find 1 picture of that person that I had taken. That is when my interest in photography slowly started. I regretted that I didn't have pictures of that person to carry with me for the rest of my life. So I started out taking pictures of my nephews and it kind of just went from there. Soon, I was enjoying taking pictures of scenery, landscapes, animals, and other children and family. People soon started asking me to take of their children and families after seeing the pictures that I had done of my nephews.

I really enjoy photography, but as of now it is only a hobby and am not too busy with it. I would like to be able to do more shoots and get more experience. I think it's kind of funny because I didn't know I was interested in photography while I was in school and before I started college. So I went to college and became a nurse, and then realized that I loved photography. So I am in the best of both worlds. I love nursing and I love photography and I really wouldn't want to give either of them up.

With everything that is going on physically, I would like to get more photography business and maybe eventually cut back on nursing maybe to part-time, and do photography part-time. Those are just dreams right now though. Especially since I am in school to further my education in the medical field.

Beautiful Evening!!!

2011-08-13T16:15:00.002-04:00

Last night was my last night off before I leave for Temple. So, my boyfriend and I spent it together at a lake. I had been hoping for a beautiful sunset to take pictures of, and it just so happened that I got my wish!!! It turned out to be a beautiful, breathtaking evening....it's amazing how the sky kept changing. The first few photos were at the beginning of the sunset and the last were at the end.

Potassium Levels

2011-08-09T04:42:00.000-04:00

I had blood work done today to check my electrolyte levels. I had been having to only get my blood drawn once a month, but my levels have been off a little lately so I have been having it drawn more frequently.
I received a message after getting my blood drawn letting me know that my potassium level is still low, but that I am already at the max dose they can add to my TPN. So they called in a prescription and want me to try to take some potassium pills also. So we will see how that goes, because potassium is hard on the stomach and causes nausea on a good day for normal people.

I haven't heard yet when they want my blood work drawn next.

A week from today I start my testing at Temple. I'm starting to get nervous about that already.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

Colors of Summer!!!

2011-08-04T19:00:00.000-04:00

Lucky - August 2011

2011-08-04T18:57:00.000-04:00

We were doing some corn from our garden and Lucky decided she wanted to try some. So I thought it would be a great time to grab the camera and take some pictures of her.

So Beautiful!!!!

This tastes so good!!!!

Finally After 5 Months of Waiting - Things are Getting Scheduled!!

2011-08-04T18:45:00.001-04:00

After 5 months of waiting and dealing with Temple, things are finally on the move. After them letting me know that they had lost my chart, things miraculously starting moving forward. Funny, isn't it? They lose the chart and then things start happening.

I received 2 calls from the actual doctor himself (I think one was even from his cell phone!!!) The first call from him was just throwing ideas around of what he wanted to do and the second was that he had found my chart and had come up with a more definitive plan of what he wanted to do. So we agreed on what we would do and he said somebody would be calling the following week to schedule when I would come down.

I got a call the following week and I am now scheduled to go to Temple. I will be down there the week of the 15th for testing that whole week and then go back the following week on the 26th for a hopefully "simple" procedure with no complications and won't have to miss work anymore than necessary. I will be going into more detail briefly in future posts of some of the things that will be done while I am down there.

I just glad things are finally looking like we are going in the right direction. I will probably be posting more frequently now, since things maybe actually be starting to happen. I hadn't been posting because nothing new was going on, and it was just the same old thing.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

Temple Update!!

2011-07-19T11:02:00.000-04:00

I spoke with my doctors secretary last Friday and she told me that they had lost my chart and that was why nothing was being done. She said they were going to have to go through all of the doctors patient charts to see if they could fine mine, maybe it had gotten filed wrong or something. An hour later the doctor called and said which tests he wanted to do and that somebody would be calling me on Monday to schedule the appointment.

I wasn't going to hold my breath on waiting to hear from them yesterday and when 4:30 rolled around with no phone call I wasn't too surprised. Even though I was still hoping, I didn't really expect them to follow through since I've been dealing with them for the past 4 months.

Last evening around 9:00, I was on a date with my boyfriend and a call comes through with a number that I don't recognize. I let the call go to voicemail. When I listened to the message it was my doctor from Temple, so I called him right back. He said that they had found my chart and that he wanted me to come down to Temple for 4 days to have testing/procedures done. So now I am just waiting for a call to get that scheduled and hopefully I will soon be heading to Temple for a little while.

Will keep you updated.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

July 5th Bloodwork!

2011-07-11T02:22:00.000-04:00

I had my blookwork drawn again on July 5th to recheck my levels since they adjusted my TPN this last time. My numbers still came back a little off, so they had to do some more adjusting and I go back on the 18th for some more bloodwork.

It had just dawned on me this week that I have now been on TPN for 5 months. The worse part about it is, that we are no closer now to getting things done to try and get me off of it. Such as running tests and trying procedures that work for some people.

Temple is still causing us frustrations. I have called 4 times now since finding out I was denied by my insurance for the one specific test they wanted. The test they wanted done first was denied, so I need to find out what the new plan is and what they want done next since we can't get that test done. I'm hoping they will say that we can just skip that test and do all the other things that Dr. Fisher wanted done.

I don't know what the deal is with them. They don't return my calls, and half of the time I have to leave a message because nobody answers the phone. I don't know if it's the staff or what the problem is. It seems like everyplace I go I somehow drop through the cracks and nothing happens. I will be calling them again this week plus probably sending some emails to see if we can get things moving in the right direction.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

July 4th Fireworks!!!

2011-07-11T02:15:00.000-04:00

These are the results of trying to get some pictures of the fireworks. We went to a local town that was having some that night. This first one here is probably my favorite one. I don't think we had a good view of the firworks. In all the pictures there is a tree on the right side that blocked some of the view.

GI Nutrition Appointment - 6/30/2011

2011-07-05T23:19:00.000-04:00

I had my GI Nutrition appointment last Thursday. I really like the doctor I see for my nutrition appointment. He was a fellow but as of July 1st he was going to be an attending. I requested to keep seeing him and he agreed so that was good. I will be going back in another month.

I got my first B12 shot that day. They are going to start doing them every 3 months. I haven't noticed a difference since getting the shot though. I was hoping it would give me more energy or something, but I can't tell that anything is different.

I did have more bloodwork done today to recheck things since they changed my TPN formula the other week because my labs were messed up. So we will see how they are this week. They had it done today so they can change the fomula for tomorrows delivery if they need to.

I will be having some other bloodwork done around the 18th that my family doctor wants done. Other than that I will see GI nutrition again at the end of the month.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

Lucky!!!

2011-06-28T09:56:00.002-04:00

Update Ramble!!!

2011-06-28T09:55:00.000-04:00

Not too much new to report on lately. Temple is still not returning my phone calls. I will be putting in another call/email this week. I have a GI nutrition appointment on Thursday. My labs were off last week so they will be needing redrawn next week. They had to adjust my TPN so we will have to see how my labs look next week. Will keep you posted as/if anything happens!!

Taking it one day at a time!!!

Photo of the Day!!!

2011-06-21T21:41:00.000-04:00

June Photos

2011-06-19T21:33:00.000-04:00

6/17/2011

2011-06-17T20:14:00.000-04:00

Still haven't heard back from Dr. Fisher, so I guess I will be calling back on Monday and seeing what is going on. I've noticed that Temple seems really bad with getting back to me after I've called them. I even spoke with a real person this last time and still haven't received my call back yet.

I also am having my blood work on Monday. I had them add a hepatic function panel to the labs because I've been noticing that my eyes are a little jaundiced. Liver failure can be an adverse effect of TPN, so I just want to make sure that everything is alright.

Other than that there is really nothing new happening. Just taking it one day at a time and trying to go with the flow!!!

Temple update!!!

2011-06-14T18:13:00.001-04:00

I put a call in to Temple, specifically Dr. Fishers office, last week to see what I am to do now. He wanted that specific test done first that geisinger insurance will not cover. So I called him to see how he wants to proceed, so I am waiting to hear back from him. Will call again this week if I still haven't heard anything by Thursday or Friday.

Trying to take it one day at a time!!!

Wednesday Wonderings

2011-06-08T03:25:00.001-04:00

So, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about the future and realistically how these problems are going to pan out in the long run. I just have different thoughts about if this or this happens, then what?

In regards to being on TPN with no idea when I could come off of it and not do it anymore. TPN has to be given through a central line. Well anytime you put a foreign object into the body it has a good change of becoming infection since it is foreign. It is the body's natural response to fight off things that are not supposed to be in it. So, I started off with a PICC through which the TPN was given. That became infected and I really had no other place for them to put another one, so they had to put in what's called a broviac. That line was placed in my subclavian (chest) area. So what's going to happen when that one becomes infected? Where will they put the new line? I figure I will eventually run out of places for them to put the lines for me to get the TPN. If I don't get the TPN, well then......(let's not even go there.)

In regards to treatment options and Temple. Things have gotten worse since I have been at Temple. My bowes have since gone bad. There was talk about the gastric stimulator. Well, if they are able to stimuate my stomach and I am able to eat, then it will just back my bowels up and cause more/different probem. It seems like it's a no win situation.

I've also gotten to the place that I have been dealing with this for so long with no improvements, that I have pretty well lost hope of ever getting better. By that I mean through medical and spiritual intervention. I know God is the Great Physician and can do miracles, but I feel like he can do that for everbody else but me. Then it seems like everytime the doctors refer me to great places that specialize in treating this, that I just fall through the cracks. I found out last week after 3 months that my insurance will not cover me to get the first test that I need done at Temple. So now I have a bunch of phone calls to make, but with no real hopes of getting anywhere which doesn't make me in a hurry to do them.

Now for something on the cute/funny side of things. I was talking to my nephew Taylor on the phone the other day and was asking him what he wanted for his birthday which was last month. Here is how the conversations went.

Taylor: " I want a gun that will shoot real bullets and when you pull the trigger the bullets come out and kill people."
Me (in shock): "Who do you want to kill?"
Taylor: "Drugs"
I was shocked because Taylor is the sweet one and it just surprised me that he would even say something like that. Then when he said drugs I realized what he was trying to get at since drugs are a big issue where they are at.

Hoping to be able to sleep good today and be well rested for work again tonight.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

Update 6/8/2011

2011-06-08T03:06:00.000-04:00

Nothing too exciting has been happening lately. I've been keeping busy with work.

I went back to work right away as soon as I was done with IV antibiotics. Work really takes a lot out of me, but my main problem is that I can't sleep. I usually don't get to sleep until 10:30-11:00 and then for some reason I am up by 2:00-3:00 and then I'm done sleeping. I sometimes will try and take a nap again before I have to come back in, but most times I think it makes it worse. I don't know whats with my body. It seems weird to me because at home I can't sleep, but when I was in the hospital it seemed like all I wanted to do was sleep.

I had a doctor appointment yesterday with the family doctor for a follow up from my hospital admission. I scared the PA a little because at first she thought I had a fever, but when checked via a different route the reading was better. She did mention she would like me to keep track of my vitals to make sure I'm not spiking any fevers or anything like that.

My next appointment is not until the end of the month and that is with GI nutrition to see if my TPN needs adjusted or anything.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

Flowers!!!

2011-06-01T04:36:00.000-04:00

Taking Time to Listen!!!

2011-05-30T21:04:00.002-04:00

As I write this post I am sitting outside on the porch. Listening.......

It is amazing what all you can hear if you just take a moment and close your eyes and listen. What do you hear? I hear many varieties of birds chirping and tweeting, a tractor, cars and trucks that occasionally drive by, crickets chirping, bees buzzing, an airplane flying overhead. Some sounds are much more louder than other, while others are subtle sounds that you specifically have to focus on to be able to hear.

We often get so busy in our day to day lives that we don't take the time to stop and listen. We would be amazed what all we could hear if we just would stop and take time to listen. We don't realize how peaceful and relaxing it can be to just stop and take a few minutes to close our eyes and specifically pay attention to each thing we hear.

This can be applied to our spiritual lives. We often get so busy that we don't take the time to stop and listen. We don't stop and listen to what God is saying, or what circumstances in our lives are trying to tell us because we get so busy we don't take the time. As I mentioned earlier, some sounds are much louder than others, and they tend to be the only ones we hear. We have to specifically focus on the important ones and tune in on them to be able to hear. Our worries, problems, and circumstances are usually the loudest ones in our lives but we have to be in tune with God to be able to hear His still small voice. We need to block out all the other noises in our lives and focus on the most important one.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

When It Rains, It Pours!!!

2011-05-29T22:17:00.000-04:00

When it rains, it pours.

Wednesday I found out that my insurance will not cover me at Temple. I wasn't happy with the news, but what bothered me the most was that they waited 3 months to figure that out and tell me. We are in the process of trying to figure out how to approach this and what we should do next. There are a couple options we can look into, but it still doesn't look too promising.

Then on Thursday morning after work when I went home to hook up my TPN my PICC site was all red and nasty. I know it had been hurting at work that night, but it occasionally had done that in the past so I wasn't too concerned. So I had to drive all the way back to Geisinger and they said it was bad and it had to come out. (which means no TPN and no nutrition) Then they scheduled me for surgery the next day to have a tunneled cather placed (also known as a Broviac or Hickman catheter).

After coming home again my arm then started with a nice red streak going up it. After phone calls to the GI clinic and a visit with a home health nurse I had to come back to Geisinger and go to the ER. They gave me a dose of IV antibiotics and had me come back first thing in the morning to see if they would still do the procedure or not because of the infection.

So Friday I came to Geisinger for 7 am. They did decide to go ahead with the procedure. After the procedure was over and they were getting ready to discharge me when I stood up my heart rate jumped into the 150-170's. So they had me sit a rest awhile and they decided to give me a bolus of normal saline to see if that would help any, but it didn't. Then it was decided that they thought my mediport catheter was tickling my heart, so they decided that they would go in on the other side and pull out the mediport and clip the catheter and then put it back in. So I spent all day at Interventional Radiology then waiting for them to do this second procedure.

I had a little bit of a rough time during that procedure, but after it was over my heart was still acting up. After a few phone calls and discussion, they figured my heart was beating so fast because of dehydration from not being able to do my TPN for a couple of days. So they decided to admit me. They wanted to watch my heart, give me TPN, and give me IV antibiotics.

So I still sit here in the hospital, hoping to soon get out. I need to get back to work....

Taking it one day at a time!!!

Giving Thanks In Everything.....

2011-05-22T21:31:00.001-04:00

I grew up hearing/thinking that God will never give us more than we can handle. Yet I look around and see people in situations that appear as they do have more than they can handle. Sometimes I even feel as if I have more than I can handle. Then an incident happened a couple years back in someone's life and it honestly seemed that person had more than they could handle. In the end they ended up committing suicide. I looked at that incident as if they were given more than they could handle. Then someone reminded me that he did have more than he could handle on his own. It's true, in his own strength he couldn't handle it, but that's is not the point that's trying to be made. The point is that God doesn't give what we can handle, but He helps us handle what we are given. In our own strength we can't handle things in this life, that is why we have to have Him on our side.

I also grew up always hearing/thinking we were supposed to give thanks FOR everything. I had a hard time understanding that, let alone doing it. How can I give thanks for cancer, gastroparesis, death, pain, storms, etc? You know deep inside that everything happens for a reason, but to honestly be thankful for it? Then tonight at church I heard that phrase in a different way that made much more sense to me. God did not say to give thanks FOR everything, but IN everything to give thanks. That may sound like the same thing just worded differently, but if you really think about it, it's not the same thing.

These two thoughts are actually tied together (at least in my thoughts.) Whatever situations we find ourselves in, we need to be able to thank God for it and let Him help us handle it. We can't give Him thanks when the situations are tough and we don't understand if He is not helping us to handle it. If He is helping us handle whatever situation we are in, then is when we will be able to give Him thanks in EVERYTHING!!!!

Fishing!!!

2011-05-22T18:06:00.000-04:00

Went fishing today with my dad at Montour Preserve. It was a beautiful day and we even caught some fish. I was also able to get some pictures of the lake. Enjoy!!!

A cute little chipmunk that posed for me :)

This was a mushroom, but I had never seen one that looked like this so I had to take a picture!

The sunfish my dad caught!

The bass that I caught! (I wish is would have been bass season, but then again if it was I wouldn't have caught one then :)) I was just so tickled to catch a fish. My goal was to just catch one!!!

I think the sky is so beautiful in this shot!!

Here is an interesting story from the day yesterday. We were walking on one of the trails back in the woods and dad mentioned that he heard some water running. I looked around and I saw what he heard, but it was NOT water. It was a hole in a tree with hundred of bees swarming around it. I probably wasn't more than 6 feet away from the when I saw them. If you know me, you know how much I can't stand bees. I was just so happy that they did not swarm and attack me. I had never heard a swarm of bees buzzing, but it was fairly loud. I didn't want to stick around long enough to take a picture even though it would be a cool picture.

Appointment update for 5/19/11

2011-05-20T02:45:00.000-04:00

I had an appointment Thursday morning with my primary GI doctor at Geisinger. Overall, it went fairly well. I think I figured out part of why I have trouble with him. It is how he comes into the room and greets me and his attitude. He immediately gets me on the defensive, so then I feel like I have to fight to just try and tell him how things are going. He does it the same way everytime too. I was able to get past that and then things seemed to go alright then.

They are increasing my TPN. They were letting me do every other day, but now that I am back to work I must be burning more calories so I had lost some weight. Plus, I wasn't able to get the full 14 hours in on the days I did work. So now I will be doing the TPN 5 days a week with 2 free days, but they also lowered the time and the volume. Instead of doing 2,000mls over 14 hours, I will be doing 1,500mls over 10 hours. I shouldn't have any trouble getting the full 10 hours in since I am only working 8 hours shifts. So I guess we will see how that goes.

He also changed my G-tube at the appointment. It had last been changed in December and it recently started draining quite a bit more than normal and it had a foul smelling odor to it. Well, he informed me today that the tubes needed changed every 3 months. I would think they would be keeping track of that and have me schedule appointments to be getting my tubes changed, but I guess not. My J-tube should have been done also, but he didn't even mention that. That should have been changed in April.

He did ask how things are going with Temple. So I explained that nothing has been scheduled or done yet. At the end then he said to contact him and he would try giving them a call if we REALLY needed him too. I would think that he should be already since it's been 3 months, but he did not seem to be in a hurry or volunteer to do it now. I guess he thinks we should give them a little more time on there own.

We did receive another email from Temple and it looks like we are getting closer to getting the first test/procedure scheduled. I'm hoping (not going to hold my breath though)!!!

I'm on a long stretch at work right now, I'm on day 4/5. So only 1 more night and I will have 2 days off.

Hoping to maybe get out on Saturday and go fishing with my dad. It's has been a long time since I have been fishing. I used to love to go fishing and would do it quite frequently, but with going to college and than working nights I haven't done it much. Maybe I will try and take a camera along and see if I can get any nice pictures.

It has been really dreary here lately, in weather and in spirit at times. Hoping that the sun soon breaks through and warms and cheers things up.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

No Phone Calls (yet)!!!

2011-05-18T10:27:00.001-04:00

Hope you haven't been holding your breath hoping I would get that phone call. Temple has not called yet. So they will be getting another email from us....

I have a doctor appointment in the morning tomorrow. Hopefully I will be able to update tomorrow with how that appointment went.

I'm just a tad nervous because its with the doctor that always seems to get me quite frustrated. Hopefully that won't be the case tomorrow.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

Quick Update - 5/16/2011

2011-05-16T18:27:00.001-04:00

Keep your fingers crossed, but I think we might soon be making progress with Temple. [insert a happy dance here] I am supposed to be getting a call from them by 10:00am tomorrow with information about the test they want to get done first. Hopefully we can get this test scheduled and get the ball rolling for the other tests and procedures.

In other news, I have a GI appointment at Geisinger on Thursday and then another appointment next Wednesday with GI/Nutrition at Geisinger. Talked with nutrition a little this morning when I had to go in for my PICC dressing change and due to me going back to work they are going to have to increase/adjust my TPN. They will be discussing it with me at the appointments since I have lost weight in the weeks since I have started back to work.

Even though I don't feel good and some nights don't think I can make it through work, I'm just glad to be back and feel like I have a purpose in life!!!! I feel like that somehow I might be able to make a difference in somebody's life!!

Taking it one day at a time!!!

Back to Work!!! (Long post)

2011-05-05T16:42:00.001-04:00

Wow, it's been a long time since I last posted!!!

I had an appointment last week and I was so fed up with everything that I decided at the appointment I was going to tell them that I'm was quitting the TPN and going back to work. I just was so tired of sitting around and not feeling productive. Since things haven't really been improving over the last couple weeks/months I didn't just want to keep on going like that for weeks/months to come. There was no end in sight and I couldn't just keep going like that. Well, things didn't go quite like I had though or planned out in my head. Well, they wouldn't let me quit the TPN. I won't be coming off of it until they see me gaining more weight because as of now I am maintaining on some days and losing on some days, but not really gaining any. They haven't even mentioned about coming off of it anytime soon and I only see the TPN nutrition doctors once a month. Those doctors didn't seem to keen on me even going back to work, but I had just had an appointment with my family doctor and she was willing to let me try going back to work when I wanted. So I called her and got the note. She made sure to let me know though, that she would write me off again if I started having trouble or anything.

While I was at my nutrition appointment they ordered blood work to be drawn and that resulted in me spending the whole day at Geisinger. First, my mediport didn't have a blood return. So they had to send me back up to the GI clinic and get some medicine (TPA) ordered to put in the line to see if that would fix it. Once the TPA is in, it has to be in there for 1 hour. They also checked my PICC and that didn't have a blood return either. So they had to put TPA in that also.

While I was waiting for the hour, I went to the floor that I work on to say Hi to everybody and talked to my boss. I discussed with her that I really needed to get back to work but as long as I was on the TPN and still had my PICC in that I would have a 5lb weight restriction. Plus I needed so see if they even would let me work with a PICC in. Well, the boss was willing to let me try it and since I work on such a great floor, everybody was willing to help me out. I told her that I would rather try working on the floor before I took the other position I had interviewed for. If once I knew I couldn't work on the floor than I would have gladly taken the other position if offered to me. She seemed glad to have me try coming back and working on that floor. I told her that I was willing to start that night.

Now that the TPA had sat for 1 hour I went back to have it checked. The PICC worked right away, but the mediport still didn't. So they put more TPA in the mediport and had me wait another hour. After that hour my mediport still didn't work. They wanted to order a chest x-ray to check placement but it was so late in the day that there wasn't a doctor that could write the order. So they decided to have me stop by after work in the morning and get the x-ray done then. Since they weren't able to get my mediport working that meant they weren't able to draw my labs, so they sent me back down to the lab to see if they could stick me for it. That ended up being around another hour til they were finally able to get some blood. So I didn't get out of there until around 5pm and my appointment had been at 11am.

I went home and tried to take a nap and then I went in to work for 11pm. That is what has been keeping me so busy. It does a pretty good job of wiping me out and I am usually ready to drop right into bed when I get home so that has been why there have been no updates in awhile.

I am glad to be back to work even though I still may not feel the greatest, I feel like I have purpose and it helps me not to focus on my problems. I love taking care of others and trying to help them through their hard times.

Still no word from Temple. Mom had left early from work a couple days and tried calling them herself and trying to get things moving, but she wasn't able to get anywhere either.

I think that is about all the updates. I'm heading for a nap since I have to go into work tonight. I work the next four nights and then have off one day and then go back for four more. Should be interesting. I'm sure I will be quite tuckered out but I'm going to do my best to get it done and hang in there!!!

Taking it one day at a time!!!

4/24/2011 - Easter Sunday

2011-04-24T22:20:00.001-04:00

I made it out to church for 2 of the 3 services today. We had a special sunrise service at 6:00am that I didn't make it out to, but was able to get out to the regular services.

I enjoy going to church on Easter Sunday and looking at all the kids in their new Easter outfits. I took my camera to try and take some pictures, but didn't get too many. I did get a cute picture of a twin that was there - she is 4 months old.

I really missed seeing my nephews today. I would have loved to try and get pictures of them in their Easter outfits if they were here. I like seeing them all dressed up looking sharp.

5 Things I Enjoy Most!!!

2011-04-23T20:04:00.000-04:00

1) My Dog - Lucky

2) Family (Nephews)

3) Photography

4) Babies

5) Sunrises/Sunsets

You Are.....

2011-04-22T01:32:00.003-04:00

You are the sunshine in the rain

You are the joy in the sorrow

You are the strength in the weakness

You are the peace in the madness

You are the courage in the fears

You are the solace from the hurting

You are the refuge from the storm

You are the relief through the torment

You are the support through the tears

You are the comfort through the pain

You are the rest for the weary
You are the hope for the tomorrow
You are the cure for the ailing
You are the encouragement for the depressed
You are the remedy for the soul

No Steps Forward!!!!

2011-04-21T00:54:00.000-04:00

I called the insurance company today to see if they could tell me anything. The lady I spoke with hadn't received any paperwork asking for approval or anything. She said that there shouldn't have to be any since Temple was participating. I asked her if she could call them and tell Temple that since they seemingly are waiting on the insurance. She told me she didn't know where to call, but asked me to call Temple and get the procedure codes for what they want to do. Then call her back and she would see if they did need approval first. I still hadn't heard back from Temple when I called them on Friday and I couldn't reach anybody today either, so I just left another message.

The saying usually goes - one step forward, two steps back. well this time it doesn't even seem like we are taking any steps forward. I'm thinking somebody forgot how to walk :)

Home health nurse coming again in the morning for dressing change. I was also to the doctor on Monday and they ordered some more blood work so I need to get that done sometime this week. I may get that done tomorrow at Geisinger.

I still haven't heard anything regarding the job interview I had last Monday. I'm still hoping, but everyday that goes by and I don't hear anything my hopes go down. If I don't hear from them I'm thinking about looking to see if I can find anything else that would work with all my restrictions and such. I was hoping to get back to work with at least one week left on my FMLA, but that isn't looking too promising. I wanted at least a little time left so that when I started in the new department if I had to take off for any reason I would still have some time left. If I use all my FMLA I don't know what they will use for my doctor appointment and such since I will have no time whatsoever.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

It Will Be Worth It All!!!

2011-04-20T00:37:00.001-04:00

No matter what we go through in this life, how hard and dark it might seem - It will be worth it all to make it safely to the other side. Everything in this life is worth it all to just make it to heaven and see Jesus.

I often lose sight of the end goal when problems in my life are right in front of me and that is all I can see. I go through life looking straight ahead as far as I can, but when problems in my life are so big I can't see very far ahead. I look at my feet and I can't see to even take the next step. It's so dark and I wonder if there is even ground underneath the next step. That is when I need to realize I shouldn't even be looking down or straight ahead but I need to look up because that is where I will find the help, the strength and wisdom I need to go on. I need to get my focus off my problems and focus on the goal, which is Jesus. Maybe God puts big huge problems right in front of us to remind us where we need to be looking - up!!! We need to look up to Him and trust him that there is ground underneath our next step and we just need to have faith in him.

I need to look at this trial as a stepping stone and see what growth and benefits I can get from it. I don't need to look at it as a valley but as something to build me up. Not looking at it as, am I ever going to get better, but look at it as what can I take from this. How can I use what I am going through to help others?

Yes, this was a lot easier to type than it is for me to actually try and do. With God's help though I will take this season of my life and make the best out of it.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

Tired of Going Nowhere!!!! (Let me Vent)

2011-04-18T22:27:00.000-04:00

The title describes how I have been feeling more often than not. I'm tired of just sitting here in limbo. Overall, most things are staying the same with somethings a little worse, but overall the same. I'm still on TPN. I try eating with more failure than success. My lower GI system still doesn't want to cooperate. My PICC is driving me crazy. I'm tired of not working and therefore no income.

I guess one of the hardest parts for me is to not know how things are going to turn out. I wish somehow somebody could just tell me the end result. Tell me if I will eventually get better or if I will stay like this or if things will just get worse. I know nobody can do that, but being in limbo with no important doctor appointments or procedures, just gets tiring. Nothing new being scheduled to try and see if there is anything that could possibly help me get better.

It has been going on 2 months now since I have been to Temple. To me it seems like I'm not one step closer to anything new than I was months ago. I call Temple every Friday to check and see if I am any closer to getting things moving again. This past Friday I didn't get to speak with anybody so I just left a message and I still haven't heard anything back from them. I'm thinking about calling the insurance company tomorrow to see if they have anything different to say. If not, I know somebody who has offered to go up the ladder and see if the people they know can get anything moving.

Lately I feel like my faith (what little I had) is slowly slipping away. It seems like God will/can help anybody else, but me. I realize we all go through what we go through because of what God might be trying to teach us, show us, or mold us. It just gets hard when your in the middle of it and you can't see any light on either end of the tunnel. I still know the reality that God has not neglected me or forgot about me, but it's easier to sit here and type it than to actually feel it.

Sorry to vent, but it's been awhile since my last "let me vent" post and tonight seemed like a good night to do that :)

Taking it one day at a time!!!

Reality!!!

2011-04-18T00:43:00.000-04:00

Posted in order from most frequent to less frequent:
There will be bad start days with bad end days.
There will be good start days with bad end days.
There may even be bad start days with good end days.
But there will rarely, if ever, be great start days and great end days.

That unfortunately is reality for me. Hopefully if Temple and the insurance will communicate and get on the same page, maybe reality for me can change.

Three important prayer requests from me for this week:
1. That there will be progress with Temple and the insurance.
2. That I would get the job I interviewed for.
3. If I get the job, that the doctors will release me to go back to work soon.

Will keep you posted through the week.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

Bad Day!!!

2011-04-15T14:37:00.000-04:00

Today is not a good day at all. Basically if I do too much beside being still I start dry heaving and then it takes awhile to get it stopped.

I did leave a message with Temple asking for an update with the insurance company, but haven't received a call back yet.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

4/14/2011

2011-04-14T23:25:00.000-04:00

Still no word from Temple yet. I'm just going to give them a friendly reminder call tomorrow, letting them know I'm still around and need help!!!

No word on the job interview yet, maybe tomorrow (I'm hoping)!!!!

It was a beautiful day today. I was able to spend time outside, loved it!!!!! Hoping for another nice day tomorrow.

Dark as Night!!

2011-04-14T00:32:00.000-04:00

When we have so much pain,
That all we can see is our tears
And our days are dark as night.

When all it does is rain,
And we wonder if anybody hears
That we feel like we're losing the fight.

Is there anything to gain?
Can anybody calm the fears?
Will we ever see the light?

We must remember the one who loosed our chains,
As the end of our lives and eternity nears
And imagine what a glorious sight.

4/13/2011

2011-04-13T20:02:00.001-04:00

I sill haven't heard anything back from Temple. I'm so tired of nothing happening.

My dressing changes are now going to be every three days. They want to keep an eye on the site since it wasn't looking too good last time. They will be coming tomorrow morning to do it. It's also time for them to recertify me, they have to do that every 60 days, so they will be doing that tomorrow also.

Hoping to soon hear something about my interview!!!

Trying to take it one day at a time!!!

The One Who Holds My Life!!!

2011-04-12T00:14:00.003-04:00

I know that there is sickness, but I know of one who heals

I know that there are tears, but I know who brings the joy

I know that there is darkness, but I know who is the light

I know that there is suffering, but I know who is the comforter

I know that there is pain, but I know who is the solace

I know that there are storms, but I know who is the refuge

I know that there are burdens, but I know who carries the load

I know that there is weakness, but I know who is the strength

I know that there are doubts, but I know there can be faith

I know that there are valleys, but I know whose hand I hold

This friend is named Jesus, He's the one who holds my life!!!

Nurse visit 4/10/2011

2011-04-11T18:07:00.001-04:00

Today was time for another home health nurse visit. My PICC site isn't looking to good. They are trying a different dressing to see if that helps any.

I had blood drawn which also proved to be quite the challenge. The nurse had some trouble accessing the mediport, but was able to get it on the third or fourth try.

No news from Temple today.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

Interview

2011-04-11T18:02:00.001-04:00

I had my interview today. I won't hear anything for a couple of days now. All I can do is see what happens. They offered me to stay and shadow so I did that for a couple of hours after my interview. It looks quite confusing at first but hopefully that clears up with time. Will explain more about the job of I actually get it.

My Mountain's A Hill

2011-04-08T12:28:00.000-04:00

I heard a song last night that put things in perspective based on what really matters. My mountain is just a hill from heaven's point of view. What seems so large to me right now in my life is just small in God's eyes. The mountain that is right in front of me that I can't see what is on the other side. That mountain is just a hill!!!

I may think I'm never going to get through this mountain, I'm never going to get to the other side, and I'm never going to come through this situation. The hardest part is not knowing. I don't know what lies ahead. I just have to realize and trust God that even through my problems, through my mountain which seems so big. So big that I have no idea how I'm going to ever climb this mountain. I just have to realize that this mountain is just a hill, from heaven's point of view.

It gets frustrating for me to be seemingly in limbo. No important appointment scheduled. I'm just sitting around waiting to get some Temple appointments scheduled. Nothings changing...it's the same old, same old...... I know that God is the only one that knows my future, but it's hard for me not to know some things. Am I ever going to get off the TPN? Will I be on it for the rest of my life? Is Temple going to be able to help? Am I going to be like this from now on?

I want to make plans with my life and try to have goals. It's hard for me to just go from day to day, week to week, and month to month with no changes and no plans to help things change.

I just have to remember that the most important things in life!! That this mountain may be bigger than Mt. Rainier in my eyes but With God's help and his teaching, I'm going to climb this mountain one way or another. Which actually is just a little hill from heaven's point of view!!!!

Taking it one day at a time!!!

4/7/2011

2011-04-07T23:08:00.000-04:00

Well, I had to make a trip to Geisinger today. When I flushed my PICC this morning there was no blood return. I tried for awhile but I couldn't get it fixed. I tried all the tricks I would try as if it was my paitent. When this happens at work we page the IV team and then when they come and try it works right away for them. So that is what happened when I went. The IV team came and right away it started working for them. I felt so stupid.

The job I'm interviewing for is a desk job which is just what I need right now. I am sad that I can't do actual floor nursing for awhile but this is the situation I'm in right now. Hopefully one day I can return to SCU3 and work again but for now I'm happy that they are helping me and found me something that I can do in this current situation.

I tried calling Temple today to see what the hold up is but I just got the answering machine. I left a message and will try calling them tomorrow. I just am getting so frustrated with this waiting game.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

Job Update!!!

2011-04-06T16:58:00.000-04:00

I missed a call yesterday from my nightshift coordinator. So this morning when I woke up there were 2 texts from her telling me to call my boss because she had something to discuss with me. I called my boss and there was no answer so I just left a message telling her to call me back. She called back and told me that she found a job that needed a good nurse. She told me that she already put a good word in for me with the manager there and that they were really interested in having me. She explained to me that I could transfer to that department and then when I am better and able to be a floor nurse again, it sounded like she would welcome me back. So she went ahead and gave that department my number and they just called me this evening and scheduled the interview. I'm excited and scared at the same time. The interview is for this Monday at 10:00am.

Phone calls update!!!

2011-04-01T21:50:00.001-04:00

So today I called the HR department and to get the scoop on what is going to happen when my FMLA runs out at the end of this month. My boss mentioned that she would try and get me an extended medical leave. So, when my FMLA runs out I will automatically begin my extended medical leave which last for one full year from the day it starts. Since I have no PTO time, which means no money, Geisinger covers all my insurance for that full year. (Answer to prayer!!!) When medically cleared to go back to work I have two months to get a job as an internal hire. Which means they will first see if my floor has any openings and if not to find a job that would be best for me. So knowing this is a relief, especially that I will still have insurance.

Now for the Temple and insurance situation. I called the insurance to see if they received the paperwork and if it was approved/denied. They acted like they didn't receive any paperwork, but that I didn't need any. They said Temple was cooperating with them and that I could just go ahead and do what they wanted done. So when I called Temple to schedule the appointment I got a totally different story. I guess I was the second person that day to call and say that, but they hadn't heard that from the insurance company. So they are going to have to look into the situation further. So now I have to wait to hear back from them.

So hopefully they will soon get the straightened out and get my appointment scheduled so that things can move along.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

4/1/2011

2011-04-01T02:25:00.000-04:00

I just realized when I was typing the date that today is - April Fool's Day!!! If I was at work I might try a prank but I'm not, so no April Fool's day jokes for me.

I need to call Temple and/or the insurance company to see what is going on with the requests. It has been 3.5 weeks now and I haven't heard a single thing. The doctor on Monday ever so nicely mentioned that Geisinger does all the tests and procedure that Temple is wanting done but that he didn't think they would be beneficial for me! Are you serious? Annoying!!!

My boss at work told me that I will be placed on extended medical leave once my FMLA runs out. So I have to call HR and get some questions answered and see what all needs done to get that ball rolling. I just hope I can keep my job and my insurance. I don't know what I would do if they didn't hold my job and I lost insurance.

Hoping things work out!!!
Taking it one day at a time!!!

3/30/2011

2011-03-30T23:21:00.001-04:00

I had my GI doctor appointment on Monday. It was just for a follow-up except that I started getting sick on Sunday so for me it was more of a "what's wrong now" appointment.

I started having bad abdominal on Sunday morning and have been having troubles with my bowels since I was in the hospital. Since the hospitalization I had to take a laxative everyday it seemed just to go. I didn't like doing that, so I decided to stop and see what my body would do on it's own. Well I guess the answer is not much. I started with abdominal pain, leaking around J-tube sight, vomiting without anything by mouth. The doctor would have liked to have just done an x-ray or CT scan but knowing that I have been exposed to so much radiation and such he is concerned about me getting cancer from all the tests I've had done. So he elected for a more conservative route for now. So now I have to do 2 suppositories a day and take a stool softener pill when I can - fun fun!!! If it doesn't get better within a week I'm supposed to let him know.

Now here are my thoughts. Since I know some things from being a nurse - I am concerned for a bowel obstruction or that something is wrong with my J-tube. I also know that they are not good things to just wait around on either. The pain wasn't any better maybe a little worse on Tuesday. Today the pain was some better this morning getting a little worse tonight, but I can hope that things are straightening up on their own. If something is wrong I'd rather get it taken care of sooner than later.

I'll see how I feel tomorrow as to whether or not I call and schedule another appointment.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

3/27/2011

2011-03-27T12:20:00.000-04:00

Thursday I had a nutrition appointment at Geisinger. They decided that they wanted me to try backing off on the TPN and do it every other day. They figure I will have to stay on the TPN though until Temple starts doing things that hopefully can help.

I have another GI appointment on Monday, so I'll let you know how that appointment goes on Monday night. It's with the doctor at Geisinger that gets me pretty frustrated sometimes. So I guess we will see how it goes.

I still haven't heard anything from Temple regarding the insurance approval/denial. This Tuesday will be 3 weeks so I think I should soon be hearing something. If I don't hear by the end of the week I might give them a call and see what the scoop is.

A different home health nurse will be coming on Monday. I hope she is nice and knows what she is doing :) I think I will only be getting a dressing change. I don't think they are drawing labs this week unless they want to check my electrolytes since I am now only doing TPN every other day, but I doubt it.

Today is not a very good day. I thought last night I might have had a little fever and than today I'm in a lot of pain and feel lousy. So I will definitely be taking it easy today.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

3/20/2011

2011-03-20T13:21:00.001-04:00

Wow, it's been almost a week since I have posted last. I went to post a couple of times but never actually did it.

Not much has happened since the last post therefore no posts. I am just hanging in there and doing the best I can. I still am on TPN with no talk of stopping it soon. Tomorrow the home health nurse comes to do dressing change and to draw blood. I have an appointment with the nutrition doctor on Friday and then the next Monday I have a GI appointment at Geisinger.

I'm still waiting to hear from Temple regarding the insurance company's decision about the tests and procedure they want done. This Tuesday will be 2 weeks since the appointment and they said it would take 2-3 weeks, so maybe I will hear something this week. I haven't heard anything about the blood work that was drawn either (maybe that means it was all normal.)

I've been trying to get out a little and enjoy the warmer weather. We had a couple beautiful days this week with temperatures near 70. Can't wait until the weather gets warm and stays warm. I love to just sit outside and soak up the warmth and the sun. The best natural way to get my Vitamin D that I am really low on :)

Will try and do better with updating this week.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

3/14/2011

2011-03-14T18:09:00.001-04:00

Home health nurse was here today. They have changed my blood work to every other week so none was drawn today. So it was a fairly short visit with just vitals and a dressing change. I will be going to Geisinger tomorrow to have the blood work drawn that Temple Hospital wants.

Today was not a good stomach day. Have been nauseous and sick almost all day. Didn't sleep very well last night so I'm checking in early tonight to see if I can get some rest.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

Fridays' Floods

2011-03-11T23:48:00.000-05:00

So much for us not having water in our basement. When I got up this morning there was water in the basement. I should have kept my mouth shut last night!!!

Check out the photography tab for some photos that I took today of the flooding at my Pap's house along the Susquehanna River.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

Thursdays' Thunder

2011-03-11T03:00:00.001-05:00

Well, I guess we really didn't have thunder today just the rain. I'm thankful that we don't live near any bodies of water and that our basement is dry. I feel bad for the ones out there where that is not the case.

Nothing exciting happened today. It was just a weary, dreary rainy day. I did get some good news from work. My boss emailed me and told me that once my FMLA runs out that I will then be put on extended medical leave. Hopefully I don't get to that point, but it is a little load off my shoulders.

Now I just have to wait to hear from Temple as to whether or not the insurance approves the tests and procedures. They will call and let me know and if approved we can then schedule the appointments.

As of now my next GI appointment is at Geisinger at the end of the month. It's with my primary doctor I had been dealing with before going to Temple. I don't really care for him anyways, but I'm just concerned that what he may want to do or try (not like he does anyways) will interfere with the Temple doc. In my opinion Temple is calling the shots now and I know last appointment he was mentioning some different tests to run just because. Oh well, time will tell. Hopefully I will have heard back from Temple by then and it won't be an issue

Taking it one day at a time!!!

Temple Appointment!!

2011-03-09T17:43:00.000-05:00

Here is the update with how the appointment went yesterday. After all the traveling and everything I was really tired and wore out when I finally got home thus no update yesterday. Lets just say I definitely am not looking forward to traveling there all the time. Traffic in Philadelphia is not very fun. On the way home to travel 15 minutes down took 1.5 hours on the way home. It took us 1.5 hours to get 10 miles from the hospital. Not fun!!!

Yesterday I had my appointment at Temple. The doctor is a lot older than the picture on the Temple website looked. Based on the picture I thought he was a younger doctor. Overall, the appointment went fairly well. I didn't walk out disgusted like I have with some other GI doctor appointments. I do have to say he is a little forgetful. I was in his office with him for over an hour just going through my chart and asking a bunch of questions. That is all that happened at the appointment. A bunch of questions and reviewing my chart he had to get the whole story on what's been going on for the past 5 years. I may have been on the exam table for 1 min, not quite sure if it was that long. At least he realizes how things are and thinks that things need done. I'm hopeful that good things will come out of seeing him and going to Temple.

He wants to do lots of blood work which I can get done at Geisinger or through my home health nurses. He wants to do a smart pill study which is where I swallow two pills and then I wear a receiver which tracks and records what the pills do for the next 5 days. After 5 days I go back and they will do an x-ray and then they want to do an anorectal manometry. That test I don't think will be too fun since its involving enemas - enough said. He also wants an EGD, esophageal manometry and Botox injection. Those can all be done in one procedure during the EGD. I'm sure your wondering what the botox injection is for and what it does. They inject botox into the valve between the bottom of your stomach and the small intestines. The botox keeps the valve partway open with hopes that it will allow the stomach to drain. All of the tests besides the blood work are pending approval of insurance which they said will take probably 2-3 weeks yet and then they can schedule the appointments if they are approved. I definitely don't have much faith when it comes to the insurance approving all of this especially since the botox injection is still experimental. He did say I would be a good candidate for the pacemaker except the fact that I am so young. If that is the only option left though he would do it. He did tell me though that there may be nothing that he does or tries that will help me.

I guess I will be on TPN awhile longer until we can figure something out or unless one of these procedures work. When he first met me and started going through my story he did ask me if there was one thing he could fix what would it be. None of my other doctor have asked that before.

I was hoping to soon be able to get back to work but I guess it is a little unrealistic right now, especially for the work I do. Maybe they will be able to work with me and have paperwork or something like that I could do for a couple hours a week. I'm just worried about using all my FMLA time and losing my job which would result in losing insurance and I don't even want to go there or think about that yet.

I just have to remember that all things work together for our good!!!

Taking it one day at a time!!!

Temple Appointment Almost Here!!!

2011-03-06T14:39:00.000-05:00

I had a post written for yesterday and had posted it and then I deleted it. It was a real personal post and I didn't feel brave enough to share it yet. Maybe someday I will, maybe I never will - who knows.

This is going to be an exciting week, hopefully in a good way! Hoping to get the ball rolling come Tuesday to see what can be done and what needs to be done. I have started writing a list of questions to ask the doctor, so I'm prepared. I even asked Mom to come up with some questions that she would like answered. I haven't decided if I'm having her go into the room with me yet or not. I tend to not be assertive and let that up to her when she is in and then it seems like I hardly talk then. It's not her problem, it's mine. I just have a harder time talking when she is there. So, I want to be prepared either way. If I have her questions and I decide to do it on my own I can still get her questions and worries answered too. At least she is going along to provide support. If the appointment goes horrible I will have somebody to listen to me rant and rave about how awful the doctor was and how frustrated I am. She is used to that :)

A part of me is hopeful but another part of me is scared that it is going to be the same thing I have experienced other places. I'm praying that this won't happen and that it will go well.

Tomorrow is the day for blood draws and dressing changes again. The same nurse that has been coming is back again. Yay!!!

Today is not such a good day. Mom always does a nice homecooked meal on Sunday and her dad and brother come over. I tried some mashed potatoes and it didn't go so well. So I'm regretting that decision now. Stomach already protested and now I'm just dealing with the lingering nausea and pain. Oh well, hoping that will soon change with help from Temple.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

Flu, Flareup, or Both? - 3/4/2011

2011-03-04T19:24:00.000-05:00

Sleep was horrible again last night. I might have gotten one hour between midnight and two and then I was up the rest of the night until 7:30 when I was able to get maybe 2 or 3 more hours of sleep. I was able to take a nap today though. The lack of sleep will probably soon catch up to me if it hasn't already.

Things took a downhill turn today. I'm not sure if I'm coming down with something or if this is just a flareup or both. It's one thing to eat and get nauseous and vomit, but it's a different thing when you don't eat or drink anything and are still nauseous and vomiting. So annoying and miserable. My body isn't even processing the acid/bile it's making. It's just sitting in my stomach making me nauseous until it builds up so much I get sick. I am thankful for the G-tube to drain the stomach so I'm not vomiting quite as much. When the nausea gets bad I can drain my stomach through the G-tube to try and prevent the vomiting, but then you just get the dry heaves.

Temple appointment is in 4 days. I am 30% excited, 60% nervous, 20% don't know what to think. I'm just hoping things work out and that I don't fall through the cracks as I have at other places. Answers and a treatment that helps would be fine with me. I know there is no cure but there are things to make it more manageable and tolerable.

Taking it one day at a time and hoping for a better day tomorrow!!!

3/3/2011

2011-03-03T23:59:00.000-05:00

I'm sure these posts have been getting fairly boring lately because there isn't too much to report. I still am on TPN everyday, so nothing new there. I had no appointments this week, so nothing to report there. I haven't gotten worse which is a good thing. I'm still by no means running any kind of marathon. I'm still just relaxing and taking it easy.

As I sign most of my posts, I'm just taking it one day at a time. That's really all I can do at this point. I can't spend all my efforts and energy worrying about the future because I can't change it anyways. I just need to use it to face the day ahead and just take one step at a time. So right now, I'm just waiting on the next step to come whatever it may be.

One a sunny and brighter note, I can't wait for warmer weather and for spring to get here. I like the warmer weather and the sun rays to soak up. I would have to say winter is my least favorite season but I do love the beautiful snow when it lays on the trees though.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

Wednesday Whims!!!

2011-03-02T20:31:00.000-05:00

I called Temple today and they hadn't received any paperwork yet, so I had to call Geisinger to make sure they send it. I had to fax them an authorization to even send the paperwork. I'm hoping it gets there, so the doctor has a chance to take a look at my notes and reports. So I don't get there and he is just finding everything out right then, and reading the chart while I am sitting right there in his office. Hoping he has a chance to review my chart and start thinking of some ideas.

I also recently had to renew my nursing license. They nursing office at work has been emailing me to send them a copy so I faxed that to them today. Stupid me though forgot to sign the license so I have to fax it again today.

I was up again half the night, as you can tell by what time I posted the poem early this morning. As soon as I do settle down and either just about asleep or having just fell asleep, our two dogs start barking. That makes it really hard to go to sleep then. I'm hoping for a better night sleep tonight.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

God's Big Plan

2011-03-02T01:52:00.003-05:00

It's been a long time since I have wrote a poem. I thought since I was having trouble sleeping tonight I would write one. I was thinking about people from my GP support group while I wrote this - so this is for them!

God's Big Plan

As round and round in circles we swirl
It is back and forth from here to there

The feeling it brings makes us want to hurl

Our bodies been through too much wear and tear

Tired of fighting day in and day out

The more we struggle the more we doubt

Just wondering what this is all about

It makes us want to just shout

After wrestling this through the months and the years

Our body so weak we can barely just stand

We may not be able to see through our tears

Having no idea what is God’s big plan

We need to hold on to any hope we have left

As we struggle to make it through this test

We need to let go and just take a rest

For God only knows what truly is best

We need to see beauty in the little things

So we can see what tomorrow and the future brings

- Brenda P. (March 2, 2011)

Thoughts for Tuesday - 3/1/2011

2011-03-01T21:43:00.000-05:00

I didn't sleep good last night. I spend half the night tossing and turning trying to get to sleep. When I did finally fall asleep it seemed like I would still wake up every hour. It's so annoying. I'm not quite sure why it is. Maybe it is a combination of being nauseous and uncomfortable and not being able to get up and do a lot during the day.

I received a call from the GI doctors office that they had made copies of some of my paperwork to take down to Temple with me. So I ventured out to Geisinger to pick them up. Made for a tiring day, so I'm hoping I can sleep good tonight.

It was a fairly nice day out so I decided to get my nice car out of hiding a take it for a spin to go pick up the paperwork. It was nice being able to get out of the house for a little bit and enjoy some sunshine.

Something about Geisinger that doesn't quite make sense. Geisinger is a hospital which means that is where sick people go, right? Well then, why do they make the parking so far away? If your sick you probably aren't going to be able to walk that far to even get in the hospital let alone once you are in it. It just doesn't quite make sense to me. If you do make it inside the hospital, then you have another mile to go to get to your destination.

Tomorrow I will be making some phone calls to Temple to check and see if they received any paperwork from Geisinger, and to see what all I need to do if they didn't. I started today and Geisinger acted like they haven't sent anything and weren't planning on it. So I need to see what is going on with that tomorrow.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

New Address!!

2011-03-01T16:14:00.000-05:00

For those of you who haven't noticed this blog has a new address. Some of you may have to change it in your readers to continue getting updates. The new address is: www.snippetsandsnapshots.com

Monday Meditations - 2/28/2011

2011-02-28T17:40:00.001-05:00

Home health nurse was here this morning and did blood work and she also changed my dressing so that now they will just have to come once a week and do everything. So the nurses won't be back until next Monday when they will do more blood work and change my dressing.

A week from tomorrow I'm going to Temple. I really hope something good comes out of it. I joined a support group and have been able to talk with a couple different people who have went to Temple. Some have had positive things to say and some were not so positive. Sometimes it's hard for me to be positive because I don't want to get my hopes up and be really disappointed especially the way things have been going. From what I've heard, it will just be a visit where he goes over my chart and my history and orders a couple tests to be done. Some say they may do some blood work while I am there, but the other tests sound like they will be outpatient and that it takes a couple weeks sometime to get them scheduled. I was hoping we could get things moving a little faster.

As humans we want things done now. I don't want to just keep sitting at home on TPN for weeks/months to come. I need to get better so I can get back to work. I have already used up 1 of my 3 months I get for FMLA. So I am hoping it won't take too long to at least get the ball rolling toward answers and treatment.

I know that God's timing is the best so I will try my hardest to rest in that fact and let things happen as He allows them to.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

2/27/2011

2011-02-27T20:08:00.000-05:00

Not much to post about tonight. Today wasn't a very good day. Struggled with nausea and pain more than my norm most of the day. Hoping tomorrow will be a better day.

Nurses are coming tomorrow to do blood work. Hopefully everything will be within normal limits. I'm pretty sure the same nurse is coming tomorrow that was here on Thursday. That's a good thing.

Taking it one day at a time.

Snippets from Saturday

2011-02-26T22:26:00.000-05:00

Another day almost over. I was up half the night last night but then I was able to get some sleep towards morning. I'm not sure why I have been having so much trouble sleeping. It does get really annoying though. Hoping for a better nights sleep tonight.

I decided last night that I would take a stool softener to see if that helped move things along better. The doctors have a liquid prescribed that I can either put through my J-tube or take orally. I thought I would just try to take it orally. I didn't realize this until after the fact, but you are supposed to dilute it in 6-8 ounces of water. I decided to just take a swig or two and be done with it. That was a bad mistake. I took one little sip, and I couldn't breathe. Literally, I couldn't breathe in or out. It was horrible. I was gasping away and when I started to be able to breathe the tiniest bit I was only able to breath in, I couldn't breathe out. I thought it must have just went down the wrong tube but then when I read the bottle I realized that it didn't. There is a warning to dilute the med or it can cause severe throat irritation. It literally took my breath away and I couldn't breathe for a good little while. Needless to say, it made me quite sick after that and I won't go into details there.

Today was an alright day. It could have been better but definitely could have been worse. Basically as long as I am alive I have to realize that things could be worse and to be thankful that I am alive. I would not pick to be where I am right now, but it is where God sees fit for me to be and I have to accept that. I may not like it, but in reality there is nothing I can do about it anyways so I might as well try to make the best of it. Easier said than done, but I need to try and find the positives in it.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

Feelings for Friday

2011-02-25T16:46:00.000-05:00

Can you believe we are already at the end of February. It seems like this year just started and we are soon to began the third month already. Where has the time gone?

Nothing exciting happened today. Just taking it easy and relaxing, since that's all I really feel like doing. I may have to drag myself out of the house tonight to get some errands ran and to pick some things up. I'm dreading it though just thinking about it, which is so unlike me. Usually I'm wanting to do anything to get out of the house for a little bit. I usually don't like being stuck at home with nothing to do.

No more doctors appointment now until my appointment at Temple in March.

Praying things work out at Temple. It get discouraging sometimes when you look back at when things started and where things are at today. Not much progress has been made when you actually think about it. There are really no new answers. I've heard plenty of maybe it's this, or maybe it's that, but the general consensus has always been the same. So hopefully Temple will be able to get things moving and get some definitive answers and treatments.

Taking it one day at a time and trusting in God that He sees the big picture!!!!

2/24/2011

2011-02-24T19:24:00.000-05:00

Today's nutrition appointment went well. I felt it was not worth the hassle of even going. Basically he just looked at my vitals and glanced at me and said well everything looks like it should I don't need to see you again for a month. So than we just sat there in silence as he typed out his note about the visit. I guess you just have to have those appointment as long as you are on TPN. I have to go back now every month, so my next appointment is not until the end of March. So it looks like I will be on the TPN for at least another month or unless Temple wants to do something else in the meantime since I will be seeing them before my next nutrition appointment.

Home health visit went well. I really liked that nurse that came today. Since my mom had used to work for the agency that came I have known the nurse for a few years so it was nice having somebody come that I actually knew. She remembers from 5 years ago when I first started getting sick, so she knows what I have been going through and dealing with. She will be coming back on Monday to do my blood work.

I have been having horrible nights of not being able to sleep. I'm in bed now and if I start getting tired enough that I think I can sleep I'm going to take advantage of it even if it is early. At least I worked night shift so when I am up all night I at least can text or call friends from work which helps the nights go faster.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

One of Those Days!

2011-02-23T18:38:00.001-05:00

Today was one of those days, you know, a 'blah' kind of day. I haven't been sleeping well at night and I didn't feel like doing anything so I just relaxed and was able to catch up on a little of my sleep, I think. I had some things I could have done, maybe even needed to do, but I just didn't feel like doing them. I've just been plain wore out lately. So, that was my day for today. Nothing new or exciting to post about today.

Since I have not been working I fear that in the time away I will either lose some skills or just become rusty on how I functioned and performed as a nurse. So, I thought I would try something new to keep "up-to-date" on current medical issues and the such. I started reading current research articles and new medical news and so far I have found it quite interesting. I figure since I am not working right now to learn by experience, which I think is the best way to learn, that I would try and do the best I could to stay current and in the loop so to speak. So far, I am enjoying what I have been reading and learning.

Tomorrow will be a more interesting and tiring day. I have a 9:30am appointment at Geisinger with the GI nutrition doctor. Around 1:00pm home health nurse is stopping by to do vitals and my PICC dressing change. It may not sound like a busy day to most of you, but for me I will probably be really tired by the end of the day.

2/22/2011

2011-02-22T18:28:00.002-05:00

Today I had a GI doctor appointment. It was just a follow-up from my recent hospitalizations. I have never really cared for this GI doctor and after today, especially right now, I still don't care for him.

Good news is that the biopsy reports came back fine as far as we can tell.

Nothing else new to really report except my frustrations with this particular doctor. He hears what you tell him but he either doesn't understand or he actually isn't listening. He seems very skeptical of everything you are telling him about what is going on and your symptoms and what they told you your tests showed while in the hospital. Then he gets in your charts and ends up reading what you just told him aloud from the actual test results. So annoying. It's like since he can't figure it out it must not be really happening or true. It almost seems like he is stuck in a box and so we have to keep trying the same medications over and over again and the same everything that is in the box 20 times with the same results. If they didn't work the first or even the second time maybe it is time to look outside of the box. At least he did admit he wasn't following me as closely as he should have been. You can't keep track of how somebody is doing with their problems unless you see them and schedule return appointments. So don't wonder how things can get so bad if you haven't been seeing them at all. That's just a couple of the things that really got to me today when I saw him and built up from some past visits with him. I could go on yet for awhile but will leave it at this. Maybe another time and another post. We'll see.

I haven't been sleeping well at all and after the long day I had today I think I'm soon calling it a night. I get really wore out by just going to the doctors.

Looks like I have another appointment on Thursday with the GI/Nutrition doctors that were following me on the TPN in the hospital. Also, Home health is also coming on Thursday to do my PICC dressing change.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

Let Me Vent!!!

2011-02-21T23:00:00.000-05:00

This is a trial run of posts that I will call "Let me Vent" . These post are where I will vent once and awhile about things that are really bothering me. It can be about anything and please know that these posts are not pointed at any individuals specifically. So, here goes the first one!

Upon discharge from the hospital everybody assumes you are doing better. Why wouldn't they? I totally get it. I'm sure I would be assuming the same thing because that is how things work. You get sick, go to hospital, start getting better, go home. That's how things work. Well, not so much the case in my situation. I was discharged home because there was nothing else they could do for me, and what they were doing I'm able to do at home. So there is no point keeping me in the hospital when they can't do anything more for me. So therefore I was discharged home to be followed by nurses until I can get to Temple. To keep hanging in there till I get to Temple to see if there is anything they can do there. They offer different tests and surgeries that may be available. What they are doing for me right now is not necessarily going to help me get better or feel better, it is just to keep me from getting any worse. At this point I wouldn't be able to handle getting worse because I'm already not good.

I guess the point that is frustrating to me is that people assume things are better or getting better when they're not and I don't have the heart to tell them that things actually aren't really any better. (I'm such a sucker.) Instead I just either agree with them or answer some generic response that can be taken however they want it to!

Well now that this is off my mind, I'm going to bed. Good night all!!!

The Rest of a Beautiful Morning!!!

2011-02-21T15:47:00.001-05:00

Taken today while out for my doctors appointment.

2/21/2011

2011-02-21T15:32:00.000-05:00

My family doctor appointment is over. It went fine. I basically just updated them briefly on what all had happened this last hospitalization and that I am now home with TPN and have nurses coming in. No more appointments with them are scheduled. She realizes that I'm really weak and not feeling good so she doesn't want to make me come in just for follow-ups. She wants me to call if I want/need to be seen. Other than that she knows I will be having lots of appointments coming up and knows it will get very overwhelming and she doesn't want to add to it anymore.

I did receive a call from the pharmacy that reviews my labs to see if the "ingredients" in the TPN need adjusted. I guess they may have been a little off so they are going to be making some adjustments. I should be getting a delivery of all my supplies tonight yet with the updated TPN.

A case manager from Geisinger called to check up and see how things are going. She will be checking up on some of my follow-ups that I think got lost in the discharge process. They will be calling every Monday morning for 4 weeks to keep checking up on me and make sure I am doing alright.

Update: Case Manager just called back and I now have an appointment tomorrow with GI. It was scheduled for the 28th from the first admission but when discharged this time they had wanted me to be seen in 3 days. I hadn't heard anything so I just figured I would still be going on the 28th even though it was over a week away. Well, I guess she looked into it and so now I go tomorrow.

Taking it one day at a time!!!

Beautiful Morning!!!

2011-02-21T09:21:00.001-05:00

I woke up to a beautiful morning. We received a lot of snow overnight and it is just beautiful. I took a couple of quick snapshots just from the house because it was so pretty. I'm hoping I can maybe take some more pictures today when I go to the doctors later this morning.

2/20/2011

2011-02-20T12:15:00.001-05:00

Home Health nurse came today around 10:00am. She was really nice, we had a good time together. She is actually is a clinical instructor where I went to nursing school. So we had some things in common to chat about.

One things I've noticed is that everyplace does things a little different in regards to mediport access. I know how Geisinger does theirs so I just figured that was they way it had to be done. Apparently that is not the case. I'm not sure if the nurse I had today had ever even accessed a mediport before. It was a learning experience for both of us. I was able to tell her how I've watched it be done a Geisinger and then she followed my lead. One institution may do things one way while the other may do things another way. At least she was a nurse that didn't mind me telling her how it was done and how to do it, but I think most of that was because she really truly didn't know. All in all though, it went well and she was able to get the blood drawn. Hopefully the results will be good and I won't get a call saying otherwise. She wasn't sure what day the nurses were coming next. So I guess it will be a surprise.

I'm probably going to spend the afternoon resting and working on my pictures. I think I am going to try and get them organized. I also received a coupon from when I bought my new camera to get a photo book. So I may work on getting that put together so I can get that ordered this week. Maybe I will find some pictures I had forgot about or slipped through the cracks that I will feel like posting on here later today.

Taking it one day at a time!!

2/19/2011

2011-02-19T21:09:00.000-05:00

Another day just about through. Nothing exciting happened today. I just relaxed in bed all day. Didn't have much energy to do anything today. Usually I'm wanting to get out of the house and just do something whether or not I should be. Today though, I didn't have that urge. Just hung out here in my bedroom. Plus, our kitchen and dining area is being remodeled and so the ceiling and walls were being painted today. I didn't really want to be around all them fumes anyways even though they weren't that bad today.

Tomorrow the home health nurse is coming to do some blood work and an assessment. Shouldn't be too bad. The worst part of that will be them accessing my mediport. It doesn't really hurt it just gets sore from the needle going in and out every couple of days. It doesn't give it much time to heal in between sticks. I'm interested to see my blood work results though, but I doubt I will get to see them anyways. Maybe they will be able to get me copies if I beg.

Well, I'm soon calling it a day. Good night!

Special Delivery!!!

2011-02-19T11:53:00.000-05:00

I received a special delivery today. Thank you to Ann and Michelle - I also hope I can soon get my nursing shoes back on!!!

These beautiful flowers remind me that spring is on it's way!!!

2/18/2011 (evening update)

2011-02-18T23:14:00.000-05:00

Today was an uneventful day, which is good. I just took it easy all day, not like I could do much if I wanted, and I enjoyed the weather and just being home. There something relaxing about being home even if you don't feel good. Something about laying in your own bed to sleep and relax, for some reason it's much more comfortable.

I did enjoy getting to sit outside for a little and watch my dog play. It was a beautiful day outside. I'm glad I wasn't stuck in the hospital on a day like today. I'm ready for spring and summer to get here. I think today was just a teaser though for spring. It sounds like its going to get pretty cold again in a couple of days.

I was able to see and talk to my sister and my nephews on skype a little tonight. That was fun. I really miss them being gone and not being able to see them. I was able to see Parker crawl for the first time. He is getting so big. It's hard to believe he will be 1 year old in April. It seems like he was just born and we were in Ohio seeing him for the first time at IHC.

Taking it one day at a time.

Lucky - 2/18/2011

2011-02-18T13:34:00.000-05:00

I was able to get outside and enjoy the warm weather. I had missed Lucky and didn't get to see her last night when I got home, so I went outside today to see her. Of course I just had to take my camera and take some pictures of her.

2/18/2011

2011-02-18T12:09:00.000-05:00

Slept fairly well last night and was only up a couple of times. At least the IV pump did alarm any and keep me up from that.

Home Health nurse was here around 10:00. She had some questions to ask and some paperwork for me to sign. Since I am a nurse it went quick and she was done within the hour. She told me I would be her easiest patient of the day as in independence but some were healthier than me and still required more care. The next visit is Sunday and they will be doing blood work then to make sure all my electrolytes are still normal.

2/17/2011 (8:30pm update)

2011-02-17T20:50:00.001-05:00

Well, I finally made it home around 6:00pm. I guess the doctor got busy and had patients crashing so that is why I didn't get to go home before noon like they had said. I just got tired of waiting around though. The later it got the more I began to think I wasn't going to get to come home today. I was also worried that nobody would be home for when Vitaline delivered all my TPN and line supplies.

At 7:30 the home health nurse came and did my vitals and helped me get my TPN set up for the first night at home. Since I am a nurse it was easy and I did most of it by myself. I guess tomorrow a nurse will be coming and actually doing an admission, and from what I hear it takes about 2 hours. Sounds fun!!!

I have a primary care physician follow-up appointment on Monday and hopefully tomorrow my GI follow-up appointment will be scheduled for early next week. The biopsy results will go to my GI doctor. So I will either find out at an appointment or will be called with the results. I'm not sure how many days it will take to get the results.

Well, I think I'm soon heading to bed. It has been a long day.

2/17/2011 (4:00 update)

2011-02-17T15:58:00.001-05:00

My main doctor was just in and said I can go home. So now I am just sitting here waiting on my paperwork to get done.

I will be having lots of follow-up appointments throughout the next couple of weeks and waiting for the results of the biopsy.

Home health should be at my house to see me yet tonight and also the pharmacy that is supplying everything. So will probably end up being a busy evening.

Hopefully I will be able to post another update this evening after all the home visits and teaching are done.

2/17/2011 (9:00 update)

2011-02-17T09:14:00.000-05:00

Primary team PA was in to see me. She confirmed about what the nutrition doctor had said about the procedure yesterday. They found a nodule in my duodenum and biopsied and are studying it to see what it is. I have to follow up about it with my primary outpatient GI doctor in a couple days. They are also starting me on a proton pump inhibitor which reduces the production of acid.

I am able to go home today. Just waiting on the paperwork. Hopefully it doesn't turn into a fiasco like the other day.

Will post more updates as I can.

2/17/2011

2011-02-17T07:19:00.001-05:00

GI nutrition doctor was in first this morning, He seems pleased with my lab work. They had increased the amount of TPN from 1500mls to 2000mls. Until the lab work is stable for a few days, they make adjustment of everything that is in it until they get the amounts of everything right for my individual body.

Per nutrition I can go home today, and also I know the primary team said yesterday that I should be able to go home this morning. So, we will see how everything turns out today.

I am a little nervous to hear what the GI doctors have to say about the procedure yesterday. Some have said a little bit and it has me a little worried.

Will post updates as I can.

2/16/2011

2011-02-16T13:17:00.005-05:00

1:00 - Going for procedure right now. Please pray. I may not get to post an update on how it went tonight, but will definitely try to do so as soon as I can.

8:00 - Procedure is done and I am back in my room and awake after a couple hours of sleep. I haven't heard anything from the doctors yet about what they found if anything.

Will try and keep you posted as I find out.

2/15/2011

2011-02-15T18:48:00.001-05:00

GI nutrition doctors were in. They were able to cycle my TPN last night which means instead of running for 24hrs they try running it over 14hrs. My potassium was a little off this morning but he still thought I could probably go home today, but that decision is up to my primary team of doctors and what they think. They will make adjustment according to the TPN for tonight based on my lab results from this morning.

Primary doctors were in and wanted to discharge me. The concerns that I have and also the nurses concerns were discussed with the doctors. They set up a plan and discharge papers were ordered. IV team came to de-access my mediport. Right at that time, GI doctor was in with the results of CT scan and stated that they had found something on the CT scan and wanted to do a procedure to remove/see what this was. They wanted to do it today, but then I told them I was being discharged and my discharge papers were already done. So then the GI doctor decided that I could come in tomorrow morning as an outpatient and have it done.

The problem with this by me and the nurses went along with some of the concerns we had earlier. My blood pressure started running lower last night and today and upon discharge I wouldn't be getting as much fluids as I was in the hospital. We were concerned then, that I would be right back in the hospital in a couple of days. Also with this procedure they wanted to do it under general anesthesia due to what all they wanted to do when they are down there. I don't do very well sometime with anesthesia and we were concerned that I would go home today, have the procedure tomorrow and be readmitted again to the hospital. So after many phone calls, the conclusion is that I will not be going home today and I will find out later exactly the details of when the procedure is.

Mediport was accessed again and fluids were once again started. TPN gets started around 6:00 and will be cycled again through the night and til 8:00 in the morning.

That will probably be all the excitement for the day. If anything else interesting happens will be sure to update if I can.

Tomorrow will be the procedure but I have no idea what time that will be. Prayers appreciated. It is a little concerning thinking about what it could be they saw. The way things go with me they won't even be able to find what they saw and we will be right back where we started.

CT Scan

2011-02-14T21:23:00.000-05:00

CT scan is just now over. It was a horrible experience.

They give you 36 ounces of nasty tasting stuff to drink. Which for an average healthy person is not good but they are able to manage to drink it for the test. Well, now try giving that to a very sick person who vomits when she has been NPO (nothing by mouth) for 5 days. So I try and start drinking this contrast. I'm not a very big drinker to begin with so seeing a big bottle of contrast to drink is not appealing. I am nauseous before I ever start drinking and so I try and start sipping. They want you to drink 12 ounces over an hour. May not seem like a lot to an average person, but to a sick person it is A LOT. The nurses and I from the beginning figured I would just do the best I can to get as much down and not push it. We figure that keeping some down is better than trying to drink it all and vomiting it all back up. So I start drinking and by the time for the scan I only have a little over a cup down. I can't handle anymore due to the pain and the nausea. Well the doctors decide that I have to have all of it for the test. They wanted the nurse to put an NG tube down so they can give me the rest of the contrast. Well, that's stupid because I have a G-tube. So they order some morphine to try and control the pain even though they knew it would still be painful and uncomfortable and after the morphine is in they want me to put the rest of the contrast through the tube. So that is what we do. I'm so nauseous and uncomfortable it's ridiculous. I can't hardly talk because if I do I'm going to end up vomiting. I have a nursing student with me today, which I don't mind because I was in their shoes before. But, when you really don't feel good and then they start messing around and doing things that don't necessarily need done it gets annoying. So I manage to make it to the scan and get that done. Get back to the room and am then able to drain the contrast via the G-tube which was it's original purpose (to drain the stomach when nauseous).

So glad that is over with. I hope they may get some answers from it and that it wasn't all for nothing.